


Wherever You Are (echo)

by MagicMysticFantasy



Series: Radio Waves [3]
Category: Oxenfree (Video Game)
Genre: Aftermath, F/M, Michael Lives (Oxenfree), Moving On, Recovery, Sibling Bonding, Time Loop, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:08:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27076996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicMysticFantasy/pseuds/MagicMysticFantasy
Summary: Alex in the aftermath of the island, figuring out how the pieces of her life fit together again now that everything has changed. She has her brother back, a new best friend, and some new ghosts behind her eyes, but things slowly slide into place bit by bit anyway.
Relationships: Alex & Michael (Oxenfree), Alex/Jonas (Oxenfree), Clarissa/Michael (Oxenfree), Jonas & Michael (Oxenfree), Nona/Ren (Oxenfree)
Series: Radio Waves [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/636065
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	Wherever You Are (echo)

**Author's Note:**

> It's finally done! This particular story has been in progress for a little over a year and has been a pain to figure out. I had a whole bunch of separate scenes in mind when I started this, and then I had to find ways to connect them all into a cohesive story. Hopefully I did a decent enough job of that, so please enjoy!

There's an edge to the quiet tonight, a particular flavor of expectant silence that's been making Alex restless since several hours ago when it first began. She had been walking by the docks with Michael when it had first shown up, taking advantage of all the time she hadn't had with him before that she is able to now. It made her chest hurt even as it eased the previous pain.

She'd forgotten more than she had realized. Now she studies his face as casually as she can – he doesn't even know anything was wrong, no need to alarm him now – and sees the curve of his eyebrows, the cut of his jaw, the way his hair sweeps slightly to the left despite his wishes. 

_ Oh, I didn't remember that _ , she remembers thinking repeatedly over the past several weeks, both saddened by the realization and slightly surprised. 

There is a shock of guilt mixed in there somewhere, there has to be, because despite what she had said to Clarissa on the island, it  _ was _ her fault. If the island taught her anything, it's that she is capable of more than she realizes, and if that is true now then it was true then, and maybe she could have saved him from the beginning. That is a truth she hasn't uttered to anyone, but she suspects that the Clarissa from before could see it from the beginning, and there are times now when she  _ gets _ why the other girl hated her so much after Michael died.

“Alex, you're doing it again.”

The teasing sound of Michael's voice snaps her attention back to the present, and she sees a plate being waved beneath her nose. Her brother's eyes are laughing, but she's known him for too long now to not see the concern lurking beneath the surface of his expression. Even now, the sight of him just standing in front of her like he'd never left makes her slightly breathless.

“Ah, sorry. Just thinking.” Somehow the words spill from her lips, despite how numb they feel. “It's... quiet, tonight, isn't it? Just... quiet.”

Michael looks her in the eye, and she remembers another thing she had forgotten. He was her older brother, and she'd never been able to hide anything from him, even on the rare occasion when she'd tried. He'd known something was off the day she'd broken one of their father's small statues that lined the mantle, even though she'd hidden all the shattered pieces and moved the other figurines to hide the empty space. He'd known something was wrong the first day one of the kids at school had spat caustic words at her, about who she was, what she did, and where she came from. He knows that she is hiding something from him now.

“I suppose,” he finally says, waving the plate a little to remind Alex of its existence. She takes it from him and tries not to look like she's hanging on his every word. “But I think it's getting pretty loud in the kitchen. We should probably get in there before someone gets too excited and sends the pizzas flying.”

Alex's smile feels stretched, but it works well enough to reassure her brother, and she trails behind him, falling into a familiar step as if no time had passed in the year and a half he'd been gone. The kitchen lights are bright compared to the rest of the house, making it seem almost unreal – especially given where her thoughts have been tonight.

Clarissa is leaning against the counter near the sink, chatting with Nona, a wide smile on her face. It's the kind of smile Alex hadn't known she'd missed until she saw it again. The chain of grief had all too easily made her forget that once they had been friends. It had tied them together, cutting into their skin and biting at barely-healed wounds, making their words acid and their hearts tired. It was nice, Alex had thought the first time she'd seen it since everything had changed, that they could start over again.

On Nona's other side is Ren, saying something about a secret white chocolate brownie recipe that he'd heard of and had been trying to track down for the next time he  _ mixed magic _ . One thing to be said about Ren is that Alex has always admired his ability to be himself without any apologies, just like he is now with his bright eyes, loud voice, and waving arms. It was one of the many reasons that she'd been willing to stick around for so long despite his shenanigans, in addition to the safe familiarity of their friendship. After Michael, she had especially needed his particular kind of genuine and harmless ' _ don't give a damn _ ' attitude to cope.

Nona herself looks... happy. She has a small smile on her face and seems to be doing a fantastic job of listening and responding to both her best friend and her boyfriend, despite them both talking at the same time every now and then. She looks more relaxed than Alex remembers seeing her in the past, more at ease in her own skin. It's nice, having them here like this: warm and happy and safe, and above all, together.

Finally, Alex allows her gaze to drift to Jonas like it has wanted to do since she entered the room. He's standing slightly off to the side, closer to the oven than to the others, and he looks like he's having a good time despite the hint of uncertainty she can see in his stance. He looks different than he did, back when all of this started, like his rough edges have been smoothed over somewhat by the waves lining the town. He doesn't remember anything from the other timeline, and Alex still doesn't entirely have their roles in relation to each other pinned down yet, but she's glad that he's here.

Sensing her eyes on him, Jonas turns to look at the siblings. The sight of his half-smile aches with a familiarity that none of the others have, seeing as they don't even remember half of the events and conversations that she does. She's been spending more time with them recently; their group has gotten a little clingy over the past several weeks after the experience they had. Studying the look on her friend's face, Alex is suddenly reminded of sand dunes and stars, the sound of waves and the wind.

***

_ “How do you know so much about this area, anyway?” _

_ Alex looks up, one shoe hanging from her hand while the other is partially untied on her foot, her impromptu lecture about the history of this particular beach cut off by Jonas's question. She blinks, then finishes taking off her shoes as she responds, her socks following shortly after. _

_ “History is kinda my thing,” she explains, glancing sideways at him as he follows her onto the sand. He had already finished removing his shoes, her warning about finding sand in them for weeks after being taken seriously, and his jeans are rolled to his calves like hers as well. “Also, this place is pretty important to my family. It has a lot of history for us, and my interest in that sort of spilled over into history in general, so, yeah.” _

_ “I think it's cool that you guys are so connected to this place. You're always telling these stories, and it makes me feel like, I don't know, like I'm a part of the story of this place now. I don't know, maybe it's stupid, but it makes the town and everything seem a little friendlier, I guess.” _

_ Even in the dark, it is easy for her to see the slight pinking of Jonas's cheeks. It makes her lips twitch upwards at the reminder of her friend's constant awkwardness when talking about himself, and especially how he feels about things. The sand slides cool between her toes as the light wind slips her bangs across her face, teal streaks dividing the world into fragments of stained glass. _

_ “I'm glad. This is your home now, too. I'd want it to feel friendly.” She glances at him slightly sheepishly. “But, I am aware that I tend to over share when it comes to this stuff. If I ever talk for too long and it gets annoying, just stop me, alright? Just slap a hand over my mouth and tell me 'Alex, I really don't care anymore' or something like that and I'll shut up.” _

_ The quiet sound of his laugh is new. Between the ghosts and the generally unsettled feeling everyone had several days after, there hadn't really been much of a chance for laughing genuinely. It was the kind of laugh that made other people smile, she thinks in the moment, the kind of laugh that you wanted to hear again. _

_ “If that happens, I'll be sure to let you know.” He sends a half-smile her way, and she finds herself grinning in return. “But for now, by all means, story away.” She thinks for a moment, studying the constellations that are partially covered by clouds before her eyes drift to the stretch of beach in front of them. _

_ “Hey, have I told you the story yet about Pulowech, the Partridge, and his wife the water fairy?” At Jonas's intrigued look and shake of the head, Alex continues. “Well, see, it all started when Pulowech was walking along the beach in winter, and . . .” _

_ As she speaks, she remembers listening to this very same story with Michael when they were kids, her mother's hands running through their hair as she tells them the story that her father had shared with her. She remembers meeting Michael's eyes and sharing excited grins from either side of her as they ooh and aah in all the right places.  _

_ She looks at Jonas at one point in the tale, the part where Pulowech has to fight the sorcerer, and all of a sudden she realizes that his expression is an exact mirror of hers the first time she heard it. A warm feeling grows in her chest as she realizes that although they've only known each other for less than a week in real time, this is a kindred soul in front of her, and she may have just found a new best friend. _

***

“And  _ two _ slices of the veggie pizza for you!” Ren exclaims, dropping the food on her plate, the sudden weight nearly causing Alex to drop both the pizza and the dish. Her eyes snap away from Jonas just in time to regain her hold on everything, then once everything is stable, she shoots a glare at Ren that is only half serious.

“Ren! You almost made me drop the plate! And the pizza! I almost committed pizza murder because of you!” He holds up one hand in surrender, the other still holding his own plate, laughing slightly at her (mostly) fake outrage.

“Okay, okay, sorry! You just went space cadet or whatever on us, so I took matters into my own hands and served you dinner. If I had known you were going to almost drop it, I would have taken precautions.”

“Ugh, are you still eating your rabbit food?” Michael says from beside her, hooking an arm around her shoulders as his eyes glint teasingly. “You should try some of the Meat Machine over there – if anything will awaken your love of meat, it'll be that.”

“I am perfectly content with my so-called  _ rabbit food _ , because unlike the rest of you nerds I'm not eating the rabbit instead. Besides,” she continues, sending a glance at her brother's plate with disdain, “at least mine is  _ interesting _ , Mr. Please-Just-Give-Me-Cheese-And-Bread. Nobody likes a hypocrite, bucko.”

“Hey!”

The group around them bursts into laughter at siblings' banter, and after a moment, they do too. It feels good to laugh like this, Alex muses. It's been too long since she last has, probably since the first time around when Michael… 

The thought trails off. She's been trying to stop thinking like that, but it's hard, because only several weeks ago she had been an only child for a year and a half, and it had possibly been her fault, and it had hurt. But, despite her best efforts, things keep coming back to her brother. Michael, Michael, Michael.

Sometimes Jonas makes his way in there, too, so maybe she should be saying brothers, plural, but she had only known Jonas as her stepbrother for  _ one day _ out of the hundreds she’d spent on that island, and even then they felt like friends instead of siblings. Besides, in this timeline, their parents never married and they aren't related in the slightest, so saying brothers plural wouldn't be true. There's also a large part of her that doesn't like to remember that one day, because she  _ likes _ the way they are now, likes it much more than the awkward, forced attempt at playing family they had tried before. They had been strangers, and now they were friends. She’d take this version of Jonas over any other, anyday.

“So, are we going to do our movie marathon or what?” In the other timeline, Clarissa's statement would have been loaded with sarcasm and disdain. Now it's just playfully teasing, and Alex thinks that it's a welcome change. Michael laughs, grinning cheerily at his girlfriend.

“Of course! To Mordor we go, fellow beings of Middle Earth!”

The group makes their way to the living room, where they pile up against each other on the single sofa and two armchairs. Nona steals one of the chairs for herself, which makes Ren pout but slink away to the other, leaving Clarissa, Michael, Alex, and Jonas to all squeeze onto the couch meant for three. Clarissa takes a seat close to one edge, sliding over to make room for Michael who sidles over as much as he can without squishing her. Alex settles in beside him, and suddenly it's just like when they were kids and watching these movies for the first time, both of them and their parents all curled up together on the too-small couch.

Jonas is the only one standing now, and he looks slightly uncomfortable, like he is ready to just sit on the floor rather than awkwardly ask someone to move. Before he can, though Alex leans a little further into her brother and sends him a grin as she does her best to keep her pizza from falling into Michael's lap. They've fit four on here before, and they can do it again with a little determined coordination.

“Come on, Jonas, there's still plenty of space here! Now hurry up, I want to hear Howard Shore's music again, it's been too long.” Jonas glances dubiously at the small slot of space between Alex's side and the arm of the couch, but he obediently does his best to wedge himself in. Several moments of wriggling from all four of them later and everyone is more or less comfortably seated on the couch.

“Victory!” Clarissa crows, carefully punching the air. The rest of the group laughs, and before long they are watching Gandalf roll his way into the Shire. Alex is squeezed so tightly between Michael and Jonas that she can barely lift her pizza to her mouth. But, despite that, she wouldn't want them to move, even if they were able. Their warm weight on either side of her, the feeling of their heartbeats and their breathing, is soothing the nervous feeling the quiet has been causing all evening.

Several minutes have gone by, and everyone's pizza has been wolfed down, when Alex feels Jonas carefully shift beside her. She keeps her eyes on the fireworks the wizard is setting off on screen as he leans in to whisper quietly in her ear.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” her voice equally as soft, “why do you ask?”

“You've been off all evening, since you got back with Michael. Did something happen?”

“No, everything's fine, it's just…”

“Just…?”

“Just,” she huffs a quiet breath, casting a quick look around the room to make sure they weren't being overheard or disturbing the others, “it's quiet tonight. Not in the level of sound sense, more like the quiet before a storm. It just feels like something's coming, and it has me on edge.”

She slides her gaze sideways, and is slightly startled to realize just how close his face is to hers, even though he too had been looking at the screen as they talked. There is a slight frown on his face, and she suddenly notices the slight peeling of skin on his nose, likely from the sunburn he had gotten from the late summer sun last week.

***

_ “Say cheese!” _

_ The sound of a phone camera going off makes Alex look up just in time for it to go off again. Ren is grinning at the sight of the huge floppy hat on her head. It has an atrocious pattern on it in neon pink and burnt orange, and the only reason she has it on is that it was too hideous for her  _ not _ to try it on. _

_ “Ren! Delete that!” _

_ “No way, this is gold!” He laughs as he evades her attempts at snatching his phone, darting between tables and racks in the tacky tourist store they'd decided to check out. They weave in and out of the merchandise, and it's only after they nearly knock over a table for the second time that Alex finally stops, hand darting out to steady it. _

_ “Okay, okay, we should stop before we break something! Just know that I'm going to get you back for that,” she warns, narrowing her eyes at her oldest friend. Ren raises his eyebrows at her, looking pointedly to the ridiculous hat she is still wearing. Belatedly, she realizes that probably took something away from her threat. The sound of muffled snickering behind them makes the pair turn around. _

_ Off to the side, Michael had been rummaging through T-shirts with Clarissa and Nona had been looking at the magnets for sale. All three of them had their eyes locked on the display Alex and Ren had just put on. They had managed to keep their laughter contained, up until they meet Alex's eyes. Upon seeing her still in the hat, their self-control falls away, and even Nona is soon letting out loud snorts of laughter. Alex crosses her arms, looking put out. _

_ “Guys!” she whines, which only makes them laugh harder. _

_ “I don't know, Alex, I think you should buy that.” _

_ She turns incredulously towards Jonas, only to pause in surprise when she sees him. Since she last looked at him, he had managed to track down and put on one of those stupid pairs of disguise glasses, the ones with the big circle frames, fake nose, and mustache. Only, instead of empty frames, this pair had a set of slinkys hanging down to his cheeks. The sight of it has Alex pausing, laugh building in her chest until it gets caught in her throat, stuck before it can be released. _

_ Apparently she stays quiet for too long, and Jonas's shyness is starting to become more evident with every passing second. Catching sight of the blue and orange monstrosity behind him, she grins broadly, stepping forward close enough to catch sight of his eyes widening slightly behind his pair of slinky glasses. She snags it off the rack and sticks it on his head then steps back. She's barely able to catch his blink behind the glasses, then he raises his hand to the hat she'd just placed on his head and tries to look up and see it. _

_ “What did you just put on my head?” _

_ “A hat! Now we match! Well, sort of,” she snickers, covering her grin with her hand. She catches sight of Ren raising his camera again and suddenly wraps an arm around his neck, bringing him down to her level as she spins them to face him. “Smile!” _

_ The camera clicks, and as soon as he sees it, Ren begins smirking, causing Jonas to groan. There is a warm feeling in Alex's chest, the kind that ever since the island only seems to come when they are all together like this. She feels more real, less stretched, whenever she is with them. They haven't talked about it very much yet – like Alex, they are probably doing their best to forget – but she knows that they feel it too. _

_ After they have exhausted the entertainment that the tacky tourist shop has to offer, they make their way back out to the street. They end up pairing off to keep from hogging the entire sidewalk, and Alex finds herself walking next to Jonas. She tips her face back to the sky, welcoming the warmth of the sun that has finally come out after several days of greyness and clouds. _

_ The air smells like saltwater and forest, and the combination is as nostalgic as it is soothing. The presence of the others and the improved weather is helping to ease the dark patch within her left by the Sunken and that nightmare of a night on the island, and her step feels just a little lighter than it has over the past several days. The atmosphere is easy in a way that is still new and being relearned after everything. _

_ She glances at Jonas walking beside her and finds him squinting slightly at the stubborn stragglers that the clouds have left behind. His eyes are hazel, there is a smattering of freckles across his cheekbones, the skin of his nose has started to turn pink from the sun, and Alex thinks that she could get used to this. _

***

Alex jolts awake, the feeling of utter silence pressing in against her, setting her nerves so on edge that she's nearly ready to start running. Whatever the quiet is that has been building all day, it is coming soon. Her eyes dart wildly around the room as her heart races, and after several moments where nothing happens, she begins to take in her surroundings as the tension eases from her shoulders. The immediate press of the feeling that woke her begins to ease as well, as if she is adjusting to the change.

She glances around again, this time with more purpose than before. The movie is over by now, and all the others are still awake despite the late hour. Ren and Nona seem to have not noticed her abrupt awakening, too busy attempting to successfully catch the popcorn that they are trading off tossing back and forth. Beside her, the warm press of Michael is grounding, and he and Clarissa are talking in low voices, apparently in the middle of a teasing argument that Clarissa is winning if their tones are anything to go by.

It's when she reaches checking on Jonas that she realizes she's been leaning against him ever since she woke up. She has to fight hard to keep a blush off her face as she meets his eyes, and immediately shifts so that she isn't pressed up against him so heavily. She can't go far on the small couch, but it's better than nothing.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you.” She fiddles with the blanket that Michael must have spread across all four of them while she was out. “I guess I was more tired than I thought. I… haven't exactly been sleeping well.”

“Nightmares?”

Jonas's gaze is a little too knowing when she looks at him again, and she suddenly realizes that he has probably been having trouble sleeping at night too. She gives a short nod in response, and it seems to be enough as he returns the gesture without comment. Apparently it communicated even more than she thought because when Jonas next speaks, it is clear that he read between the lines of what she had and hadn't said.

“But that wasn't what woke you up this time.” 

Alex finds herself growing a little fonder of the boy who is rapidly becoming one of her best friends. That he is capable of discerning this much already is surprising, but it's the fact that he cares enough to notice the difference in the first place that really fuels the sudden affection. Unlike with the others, Alex has never questioned whether or not Jonas understands, because somehow he just  _ gets  _ it. Despite the solemnity and seriousness of the moment, she almost finds a small smile on her face as she nods again. There is a moment of silence where she thinks over what her response is going to be.

“The feeling I mentioned earlier, the one about the quiet,” she pauses, trying to put it into words, her hands closing around the thick wool of the blanket in her lap, “it's like a storm is on the verge of beginning. You know that moment of utter silence right before it starts pouring? It feels kind of like that.”

Jonas blinks before letting out a hum of consideration. He doesn't expand on that, mulling it over much like she has been all day. Alex feels jittery, nerves not entirely settled – the stillness is still  _ there _ , just not pressing in on her anymore – and she suddenly gets the urge to move. She shifts again, wriggling slightly from where she is trapped between her brother and Jonas. The movement catches Michael's attention, and he turns to her with a fond smile and slightly worried eyes.

“Hey, you've rejoined the land of the living!” At her brother's exclamation, Ren snorts as he and Nona pause their game of Catch the Popcorn. “I was kind of worried there for a minute when I didn't hear you telling the characters off for every decision that they made without using their brains, but then I saw that you'd fallen asleep.”

Alex can see the question in his eyes, but she isn't ready to talk about her nightmares or the unsettled feeling that she's been having, not yet. She's just gotten him back, and for him he never left, and she just  _ can't _ add this as an aspect of their relationship just yet. She has to remember what she's forgotten and relearn how to be Michael's little sister before she can share something new like this with him.

“Yeah, it took me by surprise too,” she says as casually as she can while she unwedges herself from the pile on the couch to stand and stretch, feeling suddenly cold at the loss of the warmth on either side of her. She can tell that her brother doesn't quite buy her brush-off of the situation, and it makes a part of her squirm inside with guilt, but he chooses to let it go for now.

“Well, clearly you needed it,” he says with a shrug, nearly tripping as he unwinds himself from the tangle of the blanket when he stands. “Anyway, it's pretty late now. We should probably clean up and head to bed.”

Grateful for the change in subject, Alex nods. She glances around for her plate – for the first time realizing that it isn't in her hand like it was when she fell asleep. Michael is holding his plate in one hand, dramatically sweeping into a bow with a hand extended to help Clarissa up as she snorts but accepts. On her other side, Jonas is standing up as well, his two plates stacked together as he pauses to watch the show her brother is putting on with a twitch of his lips.

Oh. Two plates.

Something about her gaze catches his attention, and he turns back to her. His eyes easily follow hers, and he glances away for a moment before meeting her mildly surprised stare head-on. There is a moment of silence, something unreadable in his expression weighing down the air and turning Alex's lungs to lead as her blood rushes, before it suddenly dissipates when Jonas gives a half-smile that's rapidly becoming all too familiar.

“After you fell asleep your plate started slipping and almost dumped a small mountain of crumbs in my lap,” he explains. “I managed to snag it before anything happened. Don't worry, I'll take care of it for you.”

“Oh.” Alex blinks. “Thanks. I guess I'll start putting away the leftovers then.”

With another flash of his half-smile, Jonas disappears into the kitchen, followed by Ren and Nona, Michael and Clarissa having already disappeared. Alex takes a moment to rebalance, then follows them. While the others are cleaning up the mess or taking care of the dishes, Alex moves to put all the remaining pizza in one box.

Despite how many of them had eaten, the remaining pizza just barely fits into one box, but Alex manages it. The feeling from earlier is still there - and if anything, it’s only growing. It seeps into her bones, sinks into her skin. She shivers, and moves to put the food away.

Alex hums as she puts the box of pizza leftovers in the fridge, in an attempt to distract herself from the feeling now crawling up and down her spine. She’s almost convinced that all the hairs on her arms are standing up, but a quick glance down shows that nothing is happening. The feeling builds to the point that her hand actually shakes a bit as she closes the refrigerator door.

The sound of pottery shattering fills the air, and all sound in the room stops instantly as everyone turns to look at Jonas. He’s standing by the sink, frozen, looking straight ahead.

“Jonas?” Michael asks hesitantly, taking a step forward. Jonas whips around at his voice, eyes wide, and he looks at Alex’s brother with something like astonishment. A moment later he looks over at Alex, and she freezes too.

He knows. 

Alex has no idea how she can tell, but she can. This is what the feeling all night has been. He  _ knows _ , he knows like none of the others do, he  _ remembers _ . And she can see that he knows that  _ she  _ knows, too.

“I - the plate slipped,” he says hoarsely, not taking his eyes from Alex. “Sorry.”

“O…kay?” Michael says, looking a little hesitant to accept that explanation. Her heart in her throat, Alex takes a step towards him.

“Let’s get you outside for a minute,” she suggests, her voice somehow calm. “You’ve been looking a little peaky tonight, and some fresh air could do you some good.”

“Out…” Jonas begins, before shaking his head, realizing what she’s doing. “Right. Outside. That may be a good idea after all. I’m feeling a little dizzy.”

“Dude, if you weren’t feeling well, we could have postponed,” Ren says, a hint of concern in his expression. Nona and Clarissa are eyeing Jonas as well, and it’s all Alex can do to not just drag him outside so they can address the  _ ridiculously monumental thing _ that has just happened.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Jonas reassures, still a little wide-eyed. “It still isn’t. I think I just moved around a bit too fast. I think some fresh air should help, so don’t worry.”

With the eyes of the others following them, Alex takes Jonas by the arm and does her best to casually drag him out onto the porch. The moment the screen door bangs shut behind them, Alex spins around, meeting Jonas’s wide eyes with her own.

“You remember,” she says, a little disbelieving.

“I remember,” he confirms, sounding just as startled by that fact as she is. He casts his eyes towards the house. “Michael is - ?”

“Yeah,” Alex says, the relief of someone else  _ getting _ it a wash of cool water to her soul. “I know. I… maybe changed a few things, in the flashes on the island?”

Jonas stares at her, an odd look crossing his face for a moment. Alex has no way to read his expression, but after a moment it passes, and he becomes familiar again. He huffs an incredulous laugh, breath puffing out into the chilly night air.

“You changed time?” he asks, before shaking his head. “What am I saying, of course you did, it’s you. Everything is still a little jumbled, how many…?”

“I don’t know,” Alex says truthfully. “A lot. It took a lot of tries to get out of the loops. Sometimes you guys remembered, sometimes just one of you. Most of the time, it was just me.”

“By yourself?” The sharp words nearly cut her off, and she blinks in surprise at the suddenly fierce look on Jonas’s face.

“Well… yeah. I was the only one who remembered, so,” she says quietly. “It was fine, I got us out. We’re fine now, right?”

Jonas looks a little like he wants to contest this statement, but he stays silent. There’s a frown on his face as he stares at a particular dark spot on the porch intently. Alex stays silent, letting him work things out for himself. After about a minute of this, Jonas looks up at her again.

“So… what do we do now?” he asks. Alex just shakes her head.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” She lets out a sigh. “Just take it day by day? That’s what I’ve been trying to do, at least. I’ll get back to you on how that’s going when I find out.”

He laughs a little at that, though it’s not entirely out of humor. He walks over to the porch railing and leans down to rest his elbows on it, looking out over the yard drenched in moonlight.

“I guess that’s a place to start, while everything settles down.” Jonas looks like he’s about to say more, but then the door opens, revealing Michael.

“Hey, guys,” he says, stepping out, looking over at Jonas in concern as he leans on the doorway. “You feeling any better, Jonas?”

“Um, yeah,” Jonas says with a slight cough, straightening up. “Yeah, the fresh air really helped, I think.”

“Good. Anyway, I was just coming to offer our couch for the night, if you don’t want to drive home so late,” Michael responds, smiling. “I’m not sure you should be driving anyway, if you were feeling dizzy earlier.”

“Uh, sure.” Jonas glances over at Alex, and she shrugs, before he turns back to her brother. “Yeah, that sounds great, actually. Thanks.”

“C’mon. I’ll get you some blankets and pillows,” Michael says, moving back inside. “Nona and Ren have each claimed a recliner, and Clarissa decided to stay with me tonight, so the couch is all free.”

Alex and Jonas follow Michael back inside, with nothing more than a glance and a brush of fingers between them to acknowledge what just happened. Behind them, the screen door bangs shut behind them as the main door shuts out the moon and distant echo of the waves.

* * *

She sees the headlights of Jonas’s truck through the trees by the main road long before she hears the crunch of gravel under the tires. Alex can feel herself shivering lightly in the cold breeze - her sweatpants, T-shirt, and red coat not enough to keep her warm in the night chill. The truck’s engine cuts, but the headlights stay on.

Alex looks down at her palms, studying them like they hold the puzzle pieces of the universe, as though if she can just figure them out maybe she can get an answer. She blinks, and the pieces turn to dust and blow away in the wind that smells like saltwater. Like the ocean, like the Sunken, like tears, and like the lazy morning fog before the sun burns it away. A shaky inhale and her eyes rise.

The headlights of the truck send Jonas into sharp relief as he steps out of the car.  _ Chiaroscuro _ , her mind whispers, as she takes in the planes of shadow and light. She hasn't picked up a paintbrush in years, too lost in her history books, the crashing of the waves, her brother's laugh, and crushing grief to feel like painting. For the first time, she almost regrets that decision. 

“Hey,” Jonas says, walking up to her. His eyes scan her form, lingering on her sleep-mussed hair, the bags under her eyes, her hands tucked between her thighs, her hunched over shoulders. “I have a blanket in the truck. Come on, it’s freezing out here.”

He holds out a hand to help her up, waiting patiently as she considers the offer for a moment, before reaching up and meeting him halfway. He hauls her up easily, doesn’t let go of her cold-stiffened fingers. As Jonas leads her over to the truck, he absentmindedly brings the hand he’s gripping up to blow hot air across Alex’s fingers.

They twitch in her surprise, and Jonas’s eyes flash to hers awkwardly as he drops her hand like it’s scalded him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he says, and Alex can see his cheeks darkening with the help of the headlights and dim moonlight. “Just a reflex, since your hands were so cold.”

“It’s fine,” she says, shaking it off and separating from him to walk around to the passenger seat and hop into the ancient vehicle. Jonas gets in on his side and leans back over the seat to snag a thick fleece blanket. He tosses it to her and starts the engine, letting the old heater clank its way to spewing out warm air as Alex tucks it around her legs.

“You want to go for a drive?” he asks, flicking his eyes up to her, gaze softly understanding. Alex holds his stare for a minute, before moving her gaze to the sharp angles of her house, thrown into relief in the dim light.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Jonas doesn’t press further as he shifts into reverse and backs up with a rattle of machinery. He backs out of the driveway and onto the road, then starts driving aimlessly, as far as Alex can tell. She closes her eyes, letting the rumble of the truck soothe her nerves leftover from her dreams. After a while, she opens her eyes to see that they’ve reached the seaside forests.

“It okay if I roll down the window a bit? I love the smell of the pines and the sea.” Alex flicks her gaze to Jonas, and he glances over, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Sure, go ahead.”

The wind is cold where it rushes through the window of Jonas's old truck, sliding over Alex's face like water. The heater rattles, the hinges of the doors squeak with every bump, the leather of the seats has stiffened with age, and the entire cab carries the faint smell of cigarette smoke. She isn't even surprised at this point that it’s starting to feel more like home than her actual house.

The tension in her body releases slowly as they drive, until her muscles are relaxed and she can breathe easy again. Alex had begun to notice it on the island, but the past few weeks back on the mainland have made it even more clear just how soothing Jonas’s presence is, and how easily he calms her nerves just by being around.

The flashbacks have also stopped since Jonas remembered, Alex muses, which has also helped her stay less anxious. Before, she’d been remembering everything from their time on the island to the weeks leading up to him remembering. It had been happening periodically throughout the day, at random and without warning. It had infiltrated her dreams, so that even sleep wasn’t an escape from it all.

Now, though, things are quiet. The memories aren’t shouting anymore, and slowly but surely they’re becoming echoes.

“Sometimes I think I remember being possessed,” Jonas says, out of the blue. Alex turns to look at him, while Jonas’s gaze stays firmly fixed on the road ahead. “I’ll remember bits and pieces of my body moving out of my control, and the pressure of dozens of minds all pressing into my head at once.”

“… I remember seeing everyone’s eyes turn red, and sometimes your bodies rising up into the air,” she responds after a moment, turning to look forward at the road too. “I remember all the ways that you, Nona, Ren, and Clarissa were forced to kill yourselves in front of me. I think about how those timelines never got any of you back.”

“I can sometimes remember you having flashbacks,” Jonas says next, turning onto a side road heading towards the highway. “You would go catatonic, and no matter what I did you wouldn’t respond. I had to check that you were breathing several times, and each time I was terrified that when I checked, it would be the one time you had stopped.”

Alex turns to look at him again. Jonas’s knuckles on the wheel are white, and there’s a wrinkle in his brow as he looks at the road ahead through narrowed eyes. On an instinct she can’t quite name, she reaches out and gently peels one of his hands from the wheel, holding it in her fingers loosely. Jonas startles a little, flicking his eyes to her for a moment, before his eyes move down to catch on their joined hands. When Alex sees the tension in his shoulders ease, she forces her fingers to let go, even though the shared warmth is soothing.

“Sometimes when I look at Michael, all I can see is what he looked like when they pulled him from the lake,” she admits softly. “And then I see him walking around the house, or hear his stupid music, or smell his cooking and it just hits me all over again that he died, and it was my fault, and he doesn’t even know it.”

There’s silence in response to that, before Jonas’s fingers slide between her own. His hold is firmer than her own was, and he doesn’t let go. The rattling of the old truck and the whistling of the wind is all that remains, until Jonas breaks the silence, his voice so soft Alex can barely hear what he is saying.

“Sometimes I can’t remember if you’re a stranger, an acquaintance, my friend, my best friend, my new stepsister, or… something else entirely,” he murmurs. “The timelines bunch together and tangle in my head, and I can’t keep it straight. It doesn’t take too long to untangle everything again, but I can’t seem to keep it from happening.”

Alex doesn’t know what to make of that either, so they sit in an easy silence for the next few minutes with their fingers linked together across the center console. 

“Hey, turn here,” she says, pointing with her free hand to the turnoff leading closer to the coastline. Jonas obeys without questioning the request, and before long Alex is motioning for him to pull over into a hidden nook.

***

They’re sitting in the bed of the truck wrapped up in the huge fleece blanket, watching the sun rise over the water at the tucked away overlook off the highway when Jonas asks the question.

“Why do you think you were the only one to remember the Sunken on the island?”

Alex feels the sharp inhale she makes more than she hears it. Jonas’s shoulder nudges hers in apology, but he doesn’t take the question back, meaning he really does want an answer. Her breath hisses out between her teeth slowly, as she thinks about her answer.

“Honestly? I don’t know. But, if I had to guess,” she says carefully, before stopping, then starting again. “You know, it took me a long time to realize it, but there were more voices than just the sailors among the Sunken. I’ve heard what a hundred voices sound like at once before, and there were far more than that when I spoke to them through the rift.”

“So… who do you think were the others?” Jonas asks quietly. Alex heaves in a breath, eyes fixed determinedly on the waves.

“I think,” she says slowly, cautiously, “that the others were people like me. The ones who were massacred when foreigners sailed to this land, I mean. They were already there for the Sunken to join, and the reason they spoke to me was because I was like them, I was familiar. My family never left these lands, Jonas. I am directly tied to them by blood. It makes sense, as much as anything can in a situation like this.”

There’s a long moment of silence following her words, in which the only sound is the waves on the sand below and the slight breeze rustling the grasses lining the cliffside. Then Jonas’s shoulder presses into hers lightly.

“So they’ve just been… trapped there?” he says quietly, a hint of heartbreak in his voice. “That’s… so sad. I’d try to help them, but I don’t even know what I would do that could.”

“I don’t think they’re there anymore,” Alex offers, glancing briefly at him. “You weren’t there for it, but I closed the rift. I think that helped them move on to wherever people normally go when they die. I hope it did, at least. It seemed the only way to properly escape the loops. It - it tried to take me too, but I got out of the cave in time. Who knows, maybe in another timeline I didn’t make it out. A lot of things are possible, now that time travel and ghosts are a thing.”

There’s silence from Jonas, and it makes Alex look over at him properly. There’s a frown on his face - one that she can’t read. After a moment, his eyes look up and meet hers, and although the frown doesn’t go away entirely, it eases a bit as he reaches over and grabs her hand tightly in his.

“Thank you for saving us,” he finally says. “I don’t think any of us have actually told you that yet, and Michael doesn’t even know, but thank you. And for what it’s worth, you picked a good timeline to drop us in. Things are… better this way, I think.” 

There’s a lot in that statement to unpack. Michael being alive, their friends making it off the island. Jonas and Alex being on good terms, instead of neutral to each other or at each other’s throats. Jonas’s father never having married Alex’s mother.

“I think so too,” she responds quietly.

* * *

“Hey, little sister,” Michael says, leaning against the doorframe of her room. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Alex replies, surprised, tugging her earbuds out of her ears. “Why? What’s wrong?”

Michael doesn’t say anything for a long moment, his dark eyes watching her closely as he hovers in the doorway. He’s intense in a way that he isn’t usually, a little more guarded and closed off for this conversation that he started.

“I’m not sure,” he says slowly. “But you haven’t been sleeping, have been sneaking out at night to go with Jonas, and sometimes you get this look on your face… I don’t even know how to describe it.”

Alex swallows, chilled a little at her brother’s words. She can’t deny them, not without lying, and he’d be able to spot that from a mile away. So she sits in silence that is as good as confirming his suspicions. Michael pauses again, before nodding sharply.

“Something happened to me that you’re not telling me,” he states, and Alex feels her heart drop. “You and Jonas are the only two who know what happened too - he has the same look you do, sometimes, and none of the others ever look at me that way. Like you’re confused that I’m here but also desperately glad that I am.”

Alex closes her eyes, and she hears Michael straighten up in the doorway. He takes several steps into the room, before she hears the rustling of fabric as he crouches in front of her. She feels his hands take hers and hold them gently for a long pause, before he speaks.

“I’ve been trying to figure out what happened,” he says softly. “And I realized, you never invite me to swim anymore, never want to go anywhere near the water when I’m with you, even though we live on the coast and you’ve always loved the beach. I was trying to think about any time that I might have encountered water on the island, but there’s more to it than that, isn’t there. Time was wonky on the island, and once I remembered that, I remembered something else. Last summer, I wanted to go swimming on a day there turned out to be a freak current in the lake from the heavy storms the week before, and I would have drowned. I’m beginning to think that the ‘would have’ isn’t an accident, is it.”

Alex’s eyes fly open, to meet her brother’s gaze. He’s looking at her intently, eyes soft and serious as his thumbs rub light circles into the back of her hands. Despite herself, Alex can’t help the tears that spring into her eyes at the memory. She leans forward, her head falling into the crook between Michael’s neck and shoulder.

“You were going to go to college elsewhere,” she whispers. “You were leaving, so I talked you into going out to the island to go swimming again one last time before you went. You got caught in the freak current, got dragged out further than you wanted. Your foot got caught in a fishing line someone left out there, and in trying to get free you hit your head. I couldn’t do anything. I was frozen and just  _ stood there _ as you drowned. You died, and it was all my fault - both for being there in the first place and then for doing  _ nothing _ . I had a chance to fix things with the time loops. I took it.”

There was a sharp inhale from Michael and a brief pause before he was surging up to wrap her in a tight hug. Alex let her hands come up to grip his shirt, shuddering as she pressed down the familiar guilt and tears.

“ _ Geez _ , Alex,” he breathed. “I promise you, it wasn’t your fault. It will never be your fault if anything happens to me, understand? It wasn’t your fault. How - how long were you carrying this around?”

“A little over a year,” she says quietly, breathing in deeply to try and calm down. “We had just passed the year’s mark when we decided to go to the island again, so. Yeah.”

Michael doesn’t respond this time, instead tightening his grip on her and breathing deeply. Alex sits through it, and for the first time since he came back, Michael feels  _ real _ to her. He doesn’t feel like he’s about to slip away the moment she takes her eyes off him, or like he’s a ghost come to haunt her for her part in things. He’s just her older brother - the person who has been her best friend nearly all her life.

They stay there for a long time, until Alex nearly falls asleep. When Michael notices, he points to the bed until she rolls her eyes and lays down, then he runs a gentle hand through her hair, turns off her light, and shuts the door behind himself with a quiet ‘goodnight’. Alex lays there in the dark, processing the fact that Michael now  _ knows _ .

Before she even realizes that she’s doing it, she’s pulling out her phone and sending a text.

_ Michael knows. _

It doesn’t take long for Jonas to reply, even though it’s late.

_ You told him or he found out? _

Alex snorts a little. She’s pretty sure that he already knows which it is, given that he is aware that she’s done her best to keep her brother from knowing what exactly happened to him in the other timeline.

_ He figured it out. I gave a bit more detail. _

_ Need to go for a drive? _

She pauses for a moment, considering. Despite everything, she feels pretty okay - and Michael knowing has actually eased a weight from her shoulders that she had gotten so used to that she hadn’t noticed it was still there until it was gone.

_ No. I think I’ll sleep okay. Night. _

_ Let me know if that changes. Night. _

Putting her phone aside, Alex realizes that she’s smiling. She doesn’t remember when that happened, but it feels natural. Deciding to think about it more in the morning, she snuggles down into her covers and closes her eyes.

* * *

“Why did I let you talk me into this again?” Jonas asks, eyeing the squirt bottle in his gloved hands suspiciously. “I’ve seen videos of this on the Internet you know. Do you realize how many people lose their hair by doing this at home?”

“Don’t worry so much,” Alex waves a hand. “I’ve done this before, you know. I just can never see the back of my head very well and I always miss some. But that’s what you’re for.”

“So why aren’t you asking Ren or Michael to help you bleach and redye your hair?” Jonas asks, even as he follows the instructions that came in the box carefully. “What did you do before me?”

“I just did the best I could,” Alex shrugs, adjusting the towel around her shoulders carefully so that any stray bleach or dye won’t get on her skin or clothes. “You forget, Michael wasn’t around when I started dying my hair, and he messed up making a  _ smoothie _ the other day so I’m not trusting him with this. And Ren - the last time I asked him to help my hair ended up being  _ orange _ . I was able to pass it off as intentional, but I’ve never asked him for help since. Also, before you ask, I’m not close enough with Nona or Clarissa, even in this reality, to ask either of them for help.”

“So you’re saying I’m your only hope,” Jonas teases, even as he sets the bottle down to pick up a comb and lightly run it through Alex’s hair, before he sections part of it out and ties it up with a nearby hair clip. It’s a little lopsided, but not bad for a first attempt, Alex has to admit. “Alright, the instructions basically just say to go for it, so unless you have any protests, this is your last chance to back out before it’s too late. Anything that happens after you agree to let me put this stuff on your head is not my fault, just to put that out there.”

“Gee, way to inspire confidence there,” Alex says dryly, raising her eyebrows. “Nah, go ahead. Hair grows back, and I’ve been keeping an eye on things. You’re doing fine so far.”

“If you say so,” Jonas murmurs under his breath, but he picks up the squirt bottle again anyway. There’s an easy silence that falls between them as he carefully applies bleach to the roots of her hair. It’s surprisingly domestic with their proximity, his intent focus, and the careful movements of his fingers on her scalp.

Alex lets her eyes close peacefully. She feels as he carefully works the bleach into her hair, releasing the portion that he sectioned off earlier to work on it too. It doesn’t take long before his hands are gone. She opens her eyes and sees him nudging his phone to make the time flash, hands curled up so that he doesn’t get bleach everywhere. He peels off his gloves and opens the other box, beginning to read the instructions within it for several minutes, periodically glancing at his phone, until he looks back at her.

“I think it’s time for you to rinse that stuff out,” he says, already moving on to the next stage of the instructions as he replaces his old gloves with new ones. It’s strangely endearing, Alex thinks, standing up from the stool to dunk her head in the nearby sink, that he’s taking this task so seriously.

She shoves her head underwater, avoiding letting anything get in her eyes. The feeling of the water brings back memories she’s been trying to forget, of drowning, of the ocean, of a funeral, of a time rift, and of ghosts. The memories never seem to go away, just waiting until they have a chance to claw their way to the front of her brain, and -

“Do we have to dry your hair before we dye it, or can we just go for it like we did with the bleach?” Jonas asks, breaking her from her thoughts. Alex blinks, before lifting her head and shutting off the water. Jonas’s words are light, but when she meets his eyes in the mirror his gaze is heavy, and she realizes that he probably saw more than she’d intended a moment ago. She swallows, and shakes the rest of the memories away as best she can.

“Trade secret,” she begins, forcing herself back into the present, “always dye your hair when wet. It’s easier, absorbs better, and gives better color so long as it’s not dripping all over the place.”

She squeezes her hair with the towel around her shoulders until it’s no longer dripping, peering in the mirror at the bleach-blonde bits of hair now close to her scalp. While she had been rinsing her hair, Jonas had been prepping the dye, and he holds it up now with his eyebrows raised.

“Have at it,” Alex says, lips twitching upward as she waves at her hair. Jonas is more confident this time, still just as careful but quicker and more sure of his movements now as he works the color into the bleached bits of hair.

“How often do you do this?” Jonas asks, breaking the comfortable silence. “I mean, hair grows pretty fast, right?”

“Not too often,” Alex says. “I should probably do it more often to be honest, but I usually can’t be bothered until the roots are pretty obvious. So, every three to four months? It depends on how much I wash my hair and go in the ocean or the pool.”

“Hmm,” Jonas hums thoughtfully in response, before stepping back and looking at his work critically, looking for anywhere he might have missed something. “You know, this reminds me a little of art class. Only it’s finger painting instead of using brushes and it’s more high stakes.”

“Did you like art?” Alex finds herself asking, realizing that she doesn’t know his favorite subjects yet. “You don’t really talk about school much, beyond the classes that we share.”

“I probably liked that class best,” Jonas admits. “I took Painting and Sculpture at my last school, for my electives. I hated Math and Science, and tolerated English and History. Art was the one thing I could give myself at school, and it always just, clicked, you know?”

“Yeah. History was always my favorite, but art was a close second,” Alex says, watching as he puts the empty dye bottle down. “I did painting for a while too, before I dropped it to take more history classes. English was decent, and I could do Science and Math even if they weren’t that fun.”

“You planning to go to school for a History degree then?” Jonas asks, leaning back against the counter. Alex shrugs.

“I wasn’t ever sure I wanted to go to college in general,” she says, flicking her eyes at him. “School isn’t really for me, even if I can do it well enough. I was always planning to take at least a year before trying, if that’s what I decided on. But, if I ever did, then yeah it would probably be for History.”

“You’d be good at it,” Jonas comments, giving her a long look. “You already know a ton of the local history for the area around here, and you have a way of telling it that makes it more interesting than it usually is in school. You talk about the people, rather than the specific dates.”

“Thanks,” Alex says, ducking her head a little, feeling inexplicably shy all of a sudden. “You’ll have to show me some of your art some time, I don’t think I’ve had a chance to see it yet.”

“Sure,” Jonas agrees, glancing away before straightening at the sight of his phone. “Looks like it’s time to rinse the dye out. Need help or do you have it?”

“I got it, but thanks,” Alex grinned, standing up to dunk her head in the sink again. She shut her eyes tightly against the spray, and heard Jonas softly reply.

“Anytime.”

* * *

“Can I paint you?”

The question is awkward but sincere, as Alex looks up in surprise. Awkward not out of embarrassment at the request, she notes, but out of a lack of better phrasing that puts it less bluntly. She blinks at Jonas for a moment, her mind drifting back towards the thought she had several weeks ago, of shadows and light and  _ chiaroscuro _ , and how he helped her paint her hair blue just a few days ago.

“Sure,” she says, catching the easing of the slight tension in his shoulders at her easy agreement. “We can do it now if you want. Anything in particular you want me to do?”

He studies her for a moment, his eyes sweeping her form consideringly. After a moment he stands, reaching over to grab her red jacket from the chair and a book from his bookshelf, handing them both to her as he steps to the other side of the room, pulling out a small wooden crate full of what seems to be paints and brushes.

“I always associate you with that red jacket, since you wore it when we first met and still wear it whenever the temperature drops below seventy,” he says distractedly, glancing up at her as he debates between two shades of blue, before putting one of them back in the crate and continuing to rummage through it. “And to keep you entertained, there’s a history book I saw the other day that I thought you would like - feel free to keep it.”

Alex looks down at the book and sees that it’s one she hasn’t read yet, seemingly about the origin of Oregon trade routes, and how goods from Asia and Europe made their way into the area before the United States was even founded. He’s right, this is exactly the kind of book she would have picked out for herself, and she has to remind herself to put the jacket on before opening it.

She settles in, book in her lap, watching for a moment as Jonas continues to pluck colors out of the crate. He’s entered a frame of mind Alex hasn’t seen before from him, eyes a little distant as he begins mixing paints. His hands are quick but sure as he moves, and it takes a second for Alex to pull her attention back to the book in her hands.

She becomes vaguely aware of Jonas moving around his room, adjusting the blinds to let more light in, and getting a canvas set up. It doesn’t take long for Alex to get absorbed into the past written onto the pages, though, and from there the rest of the morning is a blur. She gets comfortable in her position perched on Jonas’s bed, with her back against the wall, and lets the sound of brushes on canvas fill the air as she reads.

Awareness comes back to her slowly, and Alex blinks as she realizes that she’s halfway through the book. She looks up and sees that it’s now almost noon, hours since they started, and Jonas is wiping his hands off with a spare cloth. His brushes are cleaned and set to the side, and his eyes are focused on the painting itself. There is a slight frown of concentration on his features as he studies his work critically.

As if sensing her gaze, he glances up. Catching Alex’s eyes, Jonas smiles a little, setting down the rag and sitting down in his chair again. He gestures to the painting.

“I think it’s done,” he says, looking it over again. “You can come look at it, if you want.”

Alex tucks a nearby scrap of paper into her book and puts it aside. She stands and makes her way over to Jonas, crossing her arms as she comes up behind him and leaning her elbows on his shoulders as she rests her chin on his head. He sways a little at the added weight, before huffing a laugh and straightening up again, seemingly willing to be her support.

Her lips twitch for a moment before she glances at the canvas and freezes. The painting of her puts her in a single spot of sunlight, skin glowing and blue hair a bright pop of turquoise, her red jacket a vibrant splash of crimson among the darker purple of the shadow and the navy comforter on the bed. She’s twirling a strand of hair around her fingers and looks totally absorbed in the book in her hands.

The expression painted onto her face is precise, each tiny stroke clearly done with care. She looks content, peaceful in her little bubble of the world. She looks… beautiful. A little like an impression rather than complete realism, but it is still  _ her _ in the painting, and she can tell that none of her features have been changed.

“What do you think?” Jonas asks, after a moment. He sounds pleased with the end result, but there is a slight undertone of uncertainty in his voice that has Alex pressing her chin into the top of his head a little more firmly.

“I love it,” she says quietly, unable to take her eyes off the painting. The longer she looks at it, the more she thinks that beautiful wasn’t quite the right word, earlier. She contemplates that for a moment, working to find the perfect word to encompass what she’s trying to describe.

The way he’s painted her in the sun, the colors of her hair and jacket, the glow of her skin… It suddenly comes to her, and her heart lurches a little in her chest as she continues to stare at the painting, chest growing warm.

_ Oh _ , she realizes, abruptly more aware of the boy she’s leaning up against. He’s painted her  _ radiant _ .

* * *

Alex hops out of Jonas’s truck as soon as they come to a stop, her eyes drinking in the large house in front of them, it’s white fence surrounding the property. There are signs hanging up here and there, describing features of it and explaining its history. A bigger one hangs out front with the words  _ Undine Estate _ written on it in a fancy font.

She tips her face back towards the sky for a moment, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath of salt-laced air, the perfume of the house’s roses mixing in with it. It’s warm for late fall, and she’s more than willing to take advantage of the good weather and spend the day outdoors in a tanktop and shorts before the weather gets too cold again.

The slam of the truck door behind her causes her to open her eyes again and turn around. Jonas has emerged from the truck, dressed similarly to her in a T-shirt and cargo shorts, his hair fluffed from the wind without his usual beanie to cover it up.

“Are we the only ones here?” he asks, peering around the parking lot. Theirs is the only car visible, and the property is quiet aside from the sound of the waves at the bottom of the nearby cliff edge and the various nature-calls around them.

“I think so. It gets busier on the weekends from what I’ve read, though people can come visit any time of the week,” Alex explains. Her excitement grows the longer she looks around, and she recognizes a few of the things mentioned in the book Jonas had gotten her. A slight snort of laughter breaks her thoughts as she turns her attention back to him.

“Alright, I can tell you’re excited to start exploring,” he grins, walking up next to her to stare at the house. “Where do you want to start first?”

Given the free rein, Alex grabs his wrist and takes off for the nearest sign. Jonas has his sketchbook with him, and he draws little details of the house while Alex reads everything she can.

For the next hour and a half they wander around the house, exploring and taking in the information in their own ways, enjoying the sun. The house itself truly was a labor of love by the owner, simple but intentional in design, with love clearly worked into every bit of it. It’s probably why it has lasted so long, and why people still come here.

Eventually Alex notices that the property extends into an extensive garden, and they continue their exploration there. If the house was a labor of love by the man who built it, then the garden is a labor of love by his wife. It’s as simple as the house, but just as well-designed and loved. It’s been well-maintained over the years, and the craftsmanship in it is clear to see.

They end up making their way over to the safety railing lining the property near the edge of the cliffs, waves crashing down below as they lean against the metal bars. Alex stares out at the sea, drinking in the smells and sounds as she feels her body relax in the outdoors, the sky warming the back of her neck.

After a few moments, a folded piece of paper is nudged into her hand. She grips it automatically, before looking down at it in confusion. It’s a quick sketch of her, hair windblown, gaze off in the distance, a small smile tugging at her lips. She feels her heart lurch like it did last week in Jonas’s bedroom as she looked at the painting he’d done of her.

She looks up at him, intending to ask him about - something or another, when all the words she was going to try to say get stolen right off her tongue. He’s watching her carefully, eyes warm and his signature half-smile on his face. Her heart lurches even harder at the sight, and suddenly she’s flustered, taken totally off guard.

“Hey, did you know this place was built back in 1863? It’s one of the oldest buildings still standing in the state, and definitely the oldest in town,” she blurts out, words rushing out of her as she rattles off facts she knows by heart after reading all the signs and the book he’d given her. Jonas listens, blinking languidly as he watches her. “It was built by Kyle Undine - cool last name, right? I think he made it up, since they didn’t track that stuff much back then - and it was for his wife Anna. He ended up expanding the house twice though, so the upstairs is actually younger than the main house by a few years, due to them needing more space for all their kids. They ended up having five of them - the later ones were a pair of fraternal twins, Elliot and Emma, and a pair of identical twins, Arthur and Adam, which they weren’t expecting.”

She’s babbling, she knows she is. But she can’t help it, she’s flustered and feeling surprisingly shy, with something anticipatory and shaky rising within her chest. It’s pushing the words out anyway the longer their eye-contact goes on, and she can feel her voice going a little wobbly every now and then. The look in Jonas’s eyes is unfamiliar but warm, his eyes never leave her own as she speaks, and it’s making the words come out all the faster. Alex takes a breath, and then the words stop.

Jonas's hand is gently covering her mouth. 

The abrupt silence it causes makes everything else more intense, more real. With his skin this close to her nose, she can smell the lemon soap he used earlier alongside the smoke from his cigarettes and the natural scent that living has left on him. His eyes are bright, still soft with something that is making Alex's cheeks start to warm. He is close enough that she can feel the heat of his body, but even still he takes another step closer, his hand still covering her mouth.

“Alex,” he says quietly, almost a whisper, “I really don't care anymore.”

Her heart is thudding, sending the sounds of waves through her ears from the inside, but despite that, she recognizes the phrase from that night on the beach back in the summer, and smiles slightly in response. Jonas clearly feels her smile, because he huffs a soft breath of amusement, and the corners of his lips curl into a full smile this time - a rare expression on him, but all the more genuine for it. His hand falls away from her mouth, and with the motion a strange sense of loneliness fills her. Alex suddenly realizes that she almost misses the contact.

She doesn't get long to miss it though, because Jonas is still close, and he is still looking at her with his almost too-bright eyes, and both of his hands are now melting heat into her shoulders, his sketchbook apparently having been set aside at some point while she was distracted.

He hesitates, and it’s that moment of careful consideration that causes Alex to finally reach out herself. Her hands land on his waist without Alex fully deciding to put them there, and she leans into him almost automatically. Jonas blinks, almost surprised, before his expression warms again and he moves to bridge the gap.

Their lips are just barely brushing when he pauses again.

“Is this okay?” he asks, and she can feel hints of every word as it forms. The feeling is dizzying, and Alex can feel the edges of her mouth turn up.

“What do you think?” she asks, a hint of playfulness in her demeanor.

“I think I’d like a proper answer,” he huffs goodnaturedly in reply, his breath sliding across her face. Slightly impatient, Alex leans just a bit further into him, a little charmed despite herself at his insistence that she agree.

“Yes,” she says softly, before nudging her face up that last little bit to press their lips together properly. It’s not magical, or world stopping, or life-changing like movies always show first kisses to be. But it feels right, and soothing, and she can feel her heart pounding in her chest and the press of Jonas’s fingers on her skin and the heat of his body against hers, and it’s one of the best things she’s ever felt anyway.

Alex starts to smile wide enough that it breaks the kiss, and she huffs a laugh as she drops her forehead to his collarbone. One of his hands reach to lightly tug on the end of her ponytail as he presses his face to her hair, his own grin evident even if she can’t see it.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he admits quietly into the spread of turquoise. Alex can’t help the internal twist of delight that comment brings, and she decides she owes him a confession too.

“I have too,” she says back, feeling the way his heart pounds just a little faster beneath her forehead at the admission.

They stay there for a long moment, taking in the closeness they hadn’t quite reached yet before and all the changes it implies. Then, they take a slight step back, just far enough to see each other’s faces again. Alex feels her heart stutter again at the look of blatant happiness on Jonas’s face, and she knows that her own cheeks are probably flushing slightly pink because of it. He leans in, presses his lips to her cheek briefly, then steps back fully and takes her hand as he turns back to the house.

Things won’t be perfect right away because of this, Alex is well aware. Confessions don’t magically fix all your problems, because life isn’t a TV show. Alex will still have bad nights, and Jonas’s eyes will still go distant sometimes. She’ll still feel her breath catch at the sight of Michael, and he’ll still fill sketchbooks with his mother’s smile. There will be more, too, as they continue to settle back into their new normal.

But they will have someone to rely on now. Someone they can let their walls down for, someone who will listen and be there. Someone who  _ gets it _ . Someone they are well on their way to loving, if they don’t already.

Maybe they’d been brought together in the strangest possible way because of a series of tragedies - only some fixed, after the time loops ended. But where they’ve come since then is all them and mostly good. Alex isn’t sure what life would be like had Jonas not entered it when he did, but she is glad that she doesn’t have to find out.

And, she reminds herself with a smile, holding his hand a little tighter as she drags Jonas to a new signpost, eventually all the bad memories will be nothing more than echoes.


End file.
